cold/fire/thanks - take two (hoping for forgiveness)

galahad and gwydion could do naught but love
and the High Queen of Corona couldn't tell
while the view of the Tor towered above
echoes only a shadow of Avalon's bell

it burns! witchcraft, sorceress
give me reprieve
from the skeletal remains
i see in my dreams

i give thanks for:
heat
song
pillows
poems
numbers
snow
God
bodies
cemeteries
convertibles
nail polish
bare feet
and every single one of you

tunnel thrice

"a thousand lies and a good disguise!
hit 'em right between the eyes!
hit 'em right between the eyes!"

DAMMIT if i could i would,
i won't go as far as you.

i hope i find that commitment someday,
i hope i can appreciate it before insanity comes my way,
knocks at the sun-baked shattered wooden door
where those outcasts lean and recuperate
and long for more.

this is not my family.

my family pronounces chuck and larry and managed
to be civil this year.

it was weird.

not to not

there was jazz in the background,
a soft sound,
and the clinking of glasses and i
don't think this is where he really lives.
it's just where i thought he did.

his sneakers are slightly blinding,
the responses binding,
like a corset restricting your breathing
and that is not what i want!

i want to talk, to sleep next to you
to sing for you, to sing the blues
and i want to.

i'm not up for this world of words
and labels
and fools
and unpolished jewels,
because i know that i'm better than that.

even, alright,
already.

blackout

the silence of the black
was absolute and back to back
we shuffled through that old worn house
and found a place to curl up
and wait out the storm;

despite a lingering yawn
and the annoyance of such an early dawn
i slept through the dusk and rose ready
to go on;

"happy attack" - that's what it looks like.
stand back, and don't try to be right.
i've learned from their mistakes just how
lucky i am and how
hard that is to understand.

contemplate - if you make me wait,
i can chalk it up to her last date
and you're going to go cry, now
and i can't tell you why, now
and oh lord, i've been down
since she let you down
and you're never coming round, now

so we can; let's wait it out together.
the lights won't be off forever
and sooner or later, you gotta believe
something will rise for you and fall for me
and i'm okay with giving a just little bit up
so you can have your everything.

a rogue verse (the rest is a song now)

remember that week when you couldn't speak
i made you cookies you couldn't eat
and we sat in silence and didn't have to say
anything

passionately happy

i told you they came out PhDs
(and from Harvard, no less.)

i told you i can't stop smiling
(and i can't.)

and i smelled snow
(so maybe it will?)

and the look on your face at the end of that song
(it gets better than this?)

capture it, remember it, and believe everything
(maybe now do you want little kids?)

i am a priestess! i am a princess!
taylor swift gives me hope!
there is nothing left to know!

pink

i stood up and steam dripped
down my face and i imagined a soft
plink, plink
as those raindrops hit the surface of the cloudy water.

and my hands were warm and ran
over my body like hands
running over bodies
like piano keys.

i realized
something i did not want to admit
and it hurt, bit
up that feeling tying me together
(the one that makes me smile like a crazy)

don't let's not say it
i'm hoping one day we can share it,
dare it,
and decide not to.
i don't know what i'll do without you.

kiss kiss

i liked it.
tentative like the first time, the last time,
a rhyme you have never considered,
a smile that's never been bitter.
i turn my head;
he could mean anything and i'd never know and that
i positively refuse to do.

this week i was loose, undone
just looking for a bodice-ripper and some easy fun,
but it just makes you more,
because i remember before,
when everything meant so much and i threw it away.

so our first time was the first time,
and it's just like that every
single
day.

mix tape

absolutely and totally bizarre
beyond comprehension
is the way that you mention
me in passing, the way that the tension
builds inside of me when you're there
the way i know, you know, it's going nowhere.

and it doesn't matter at all, since we
both understand
it isn't the plan
you're not my man, never was, never will be.
and anyhow, that's not really what we want, is it?

exchange that common language of the world with me
i will still run to his arms
you will still sing in bars
and we'll wink at each other on those sunday mornings
and not quite regret that glaring difference between us.

i really don't.
(your love songs could be for me, but i smile because of him.)

maniacal laughter

i didn't let myself get roped in before
because, well
i hate to admit it but i had other things to do.

that didn't keep me from shrieking last night,
skipping up the stairs,
punching the air,
letting political apathy GO
to just be freakin' awesome
for however long this can last.

and a hard rain is gonna fall,
and a big change is gonna come,
and i'm gonna be ready.
we're gonna be ready.
America, baby.
she's back.

(in black.)

laughing dichotomy

dance in the surf and prance in the waves
gotta take what you can these days
keeping my fingers crossed,
knocking on wood.
and trying to do all that i should.

you're so far beyond me,
and i can't even begin to

imagine

what my life would be, split like your sin
tin man, no heart, piano man, no grin
(martyr, no soul)

no.

not even close because you are
stone fences and autumn leaves
worn benches and an ocean breeze
and mean so much to me

the trouble is just when you don't believe,
or when i just don't see,
well maybe, we're not so different after all.