twilight - not what I intended to write

I'll mostly be watching you.
Be careful, because you might break.
I promise to protect as I love,
and you promise to keep fighting fate.

If I dazzle you, you dazzle me.
Please, relax your charm.
We're locked in a passion of Shakespearean fools.
I won't let you leave my arms.

You're so willing and I'm so afraid,
fighting my nature as you lie in your grave.
I'm selfish, breathless, thirsty, sick,
and you're trusting, stupid, lovely, bit.

I'm ready, and you're terrified.
(Is this ringing any bells?
When you whispered always,
you didn't say in hell.)

so i was "cleaning my room" and found a bunch of hilarious acrostic poems written by me, annie, and riley in a study hall in tenth grade.

(by me, "wow")
Worldly Eugene had a thing for messing with
Orangutans. one day they came and took him a
Way, nobody was the same.

(by annie, "wow")
Why couldn't they eat fish in red aprons? (the fish.)
Othello probably died.
Withered hamburgers were served and eaten to-day.

(by riley, "wow")
Where oh where is my little monkey gone? this
Obnoxious sister is eating my toe. 1)
Why am I so concerned and 2) "little monkey" is the dirtiest phrase i've ever heard

(by annie, "celebrate")
Cake was
Eaten.
Lots of cake was
Eaten.
Bring more cake
Right now.
As soon as possible,
Take
Ears.

(by me, "partay")
Please
Assume
Responsibility.
Take
Away
Yetis.

(by riley, "cake spoon")
Colin
Annie
Kerri and
Ed
Saw
Purple
Orangutans
On
Norbert.

and that concludes our flashback for the day! I hope you enjoyed it!

on cake and eating it

i think i figured it out. nobody can have it all. to be blunt, it's true. you know how they say, oh, well, that perfect person is probably miserable?
think about it.
you can't look like Prince Eric, have the best friends ever, be wicked talented, enjoy a technical gap year, and feel really connected to all those best friends all the time.
you can't have an amazing boyfriend, be good at math, be cute, have a lead, and get into college.
you can't get into college, be good at math, have an amazing girlfriend, be amazing, and have the most basic part of your self be right.
you can't get into college, be an amazing writer, get 107s, have shiny hair, and express your devotion.

you can have sunshine and rain, pleasure and pain, poetry and photographs. you can cry or laugh.
optimism, like love, is a battlefield, or a shield, and you know that i don't fade (though i love grey). maybe i've been all wrong for years too long and only just now am coming to the conclusion of imperfection?
no, that isn't right. be thankful for what you do have? no, because sometimes it's almost impossible.
i don't know?
how's that for a life philosophy, shrug off possibility, dare to dance with chance, and when he steps on your feet, laugh it off. you know you can't win!
pick and choose, because i'm thinking, sometimes, you gotta lose.
just be ready? i don't know.

blast

the truth is, mimosas smell funny
but i wouldn't have cared.
and those pictures probably look weird,
but it's okay.

so as i set out into the night
still strong and only half-wrong
don't turn away if you should be chasing me,
trying to prove that 86 proof,
silver flutes, playing mute
are all that matter to you.

i know that isn't true.

so smile, kid. i don't mind.

snowfall renews my hope, so i believe in Nature more than Man

a single stripe of turquoise might,
maybe, change the way we see the world.

a few falling crystals (God, how she missed her)
do.

and here i am, huddled in my sweater
bleeding
waiting
but i know, i know
i know i know i know i want to
i want to.

so if we can look to the mountains,
play a sweet song
(rip off noah word for word,
and pretend it isn't wrong)
find the best of things
wish for love and wings
(and rip off kyle swartzwelder
anytime he sings.)


... i didn't finish this one.

without his glasses

i.
pretty blond woman with
towering shoes like
towering buildings
that eat her up
(and spit her out)
and she makes the end of each day
pretty and blond, still
but one more might be too much

ii.
she walks away from franklin's park
where at night, just heels
and the morning smog wraps wreaths of
desperation around the winding lines of the homeless
cold, bundled, hungry

iii.
but the stone arches
and the pedestals (both stone and air)
shine in the momentary sunlight
and it reflects off the gold curve of the roof
to remind us all of this
once
great
nation
and then this is where the inaugural speech will be:

iv.
mr. obama, president sir
play a song for me.

v.
we can talk
as we walk
all we want
as we wait,
running late
running not-at-all
running through the mall.

vi.
shadows of streetlamps
though it's bright day
the right is white
the unspoken say
but the masses, the masses
come out to play.

vii.
future ruins.
shakespeare or angry,
we can never win, because just going home
and i saw it again
she fell out of the building, cursing from the church
picking through the trash
hoping for the worst.

viii.
we can preserve the magna carta
it can make girls like me cry
but we can't save this city
if there's nothing left but pity
and nobody will tell me why.

ix.
(but i miss you too damn much
to do anything but sigh.)

x.
we can go back, someday, maybe
to stare at underappreciated art
and throw coins at the men throwing their life away,
catch that
and give it back.

ice

pink ribbon and surprised grins
we win!

goodbyes and new lives
we lie!

waiting for Godot and I haven't met him yet
memorizing Thoreau and playing hard to get
we had an odd sort of ambiance in the
coffee-scented air
and this is where, where
we said our prayers.

i still wish you'd tell me everything
i wish you could understand
i want the world for you and her
i want you to find a plan
i hope you can continue on the path to perfection

well-coiffed is only part of it.

little black boxes hold forethought
which, for once, i have; take this of me.