eleven, for posterity, not talent

i wish i had a culture.
a dancing zorba, a rack of lamb

but, really.
this is better.
windswept hair, midnight prayers
swimming bare, laughing dares.

this is our tradition, our position.

our gift.

the boxer

what are we fighting for?
don't you know, this is so much more
than
wrong words. burns.

i'm going to tell you,
soon.

40 mph

hey hey baby,
can't you see
i break before you get to me.
i'm laughing inside,
along for the ride,
unused to serious
frivolity.

smile so it hurts, i still want
everything you need.

forgiveness and your kiss is
more than i deserve this
is more than i reserved
but someday i will give you
what you missed, i promise, this

is more than i dared believe would ever be
possible
more than i bared to him in four months of
nothingness - love
and i can't figure it out.

cosmo/screwdrivers

safety school.
i can't type, and i need chapstick.

you think i'm a fool?
i bet you wish you hadn't thrown it away.

but maybe, just maybe
i can have everything.
so, i asked. i don't need your sass - i
would recommend a bit more
understanding.

yes, you are well spoken.
but that isn't everything.

henna

badass, baby,
i drive you crazy.
flower child, runnin' wild
- gimme a smile.

i got tricks for two,
if that's
what you're into.

lunch

they sit -
grey, cold, worn, wrinkled
they reminisce -
"surely, surely, dear
times have changed."

i wanted to wrap their memories
up in a scrap of napkin
tuck in my pocket
all the years of - well, everything
they've been through.

and sometimes she can't remember her own name.

please tell me, somewhere,
this is okay?

because something about that day

well, it haunts me.

it just pours out of me, darling

i wanted to apologize, because
i want to be the best thing for you
i don't want to make you bleed - i
want to be everything you need.

everything i've got
on my mind
(a lot)
and all i'm really thinking about

well

guess.

night driving

i might have killed four or five toads
driving down green hill road
i couldn't use my brights
and there weren't any street lights
i tried to avoid it
as best i could without
careening over myself.

then i slowed down
and i didn't hit the possum
and lightning flashed in the skies
and reflected off the windshield
and off my eyes,
and i remembered your rhyme.

rock n roll

bass chick
drum sticks
charge the stage

no plaid for me
i was singing
and swaying my hips
to the beat
beat
beat
of the drum
and the heat
heat
heat
of the rum

kohl-rimmed eyes
coke in lines
fourteen guys
and me

that's how i want my life to be.

too many cooks in the kitchen (my favorite people)

we meant well
but we all wanted to tell
each other
what was best
- for everyone.

beyond substitutions
spatulas
contusions
?

i'm nice, so

i'll fold the laundry
and you can make the pancakes.

someday,
we won't use measuring cups.

i wrote it anyway, though it isn't very good (beats)

we started stung, ended strung out and high on the color of the sky and the shape of the sun and the promise of happiness and pink clouds for the rest of our lives. i wanted to laugh and scream, so i giggled and sang, ran in the sand, stood at the water's edge before wading in. i did not swim. i hummed a bit and cast awkward glances at my unexpecting audience and wandered back towards you, whispering goodbye to the sun as it slipped down the last golden rung i wish i could climb that ladder and then jump off and fly -

but i don't think i could handle it, i couldn't handle this, the definition of SUBLIME, too much excess energy and the knowledge of being alive ecstatic with the thought of having enough to survive.

how could you ever think it wasn't enough? i know life is tough, i know life is rough, i have been through the good and the bad and the ugly and the sad but it's all all right. because of that night.

because of that night.