you broke me

please don't forget it
even when i create such a semblance of normal.

i can see land from here
where we're treading water together, sort of
but you can't see the end.
i'd stay and fight the sharks with you
(we're still both bleeding)
but you want me to leave so very badly
couldn't stand if they tore me apart
that you'll drown me to wrestle them alone.
it doesn't matter who gets the better bargain here.

i will chase those flowers downstream to the sea
the further i get, the less i'll look back
maybe you regret that.

the only silver lining i see
is that i can't wait to wash
that metaphorical lipstick stain
from your metaphorical mug.
(in the meantime,
i monopolized pity and their love.
i am still rather sorry about that.)

whether the playlist ended or when i couldn't respond
you felt the silence, what you'd done
i am working on cauterizing this wound

maybe we should become arsonists together.