smoke and mirrors

to keep myself from feeling oh so small,
i go and let the curtain fall
over the sad little girl too pathetic to get over it,
too bitter to let you forget it,
too determined to do what they expect
to let the facade crumble down
(though i try to hide it, it's clear,
and you can fill in the next line.)
if you feel the need to interfere,
or be irritated with me, dear,
have some fucking fun.

but i swim in frigid ocean waves if the sky is blue enough and i don't worry about the dangers lurking beneath the surface of your love, or lack thereof.

if you gave me less credit, you'd be less disappointed.